Do I Need a Paralegal or an Attorney?

Upfront costs to retain an attorney will run you about $5K, more or less. And it will go fast!

If you’re both fair-minded people and neither of you has an "ax to grind," then you probably don’t need an attorney. (Then again, you wouldn’t be reading this if you thought she'd be reasonable, right?)

My 2003 divorce cost about $450 TOTAL for a paralegal and court costs despite the fact that we’d been married for 12 years, owned a home, and had a minor child. I didn't ask for spousal support or part of his pension, we split the proceeds from the sale of our house, and we agreed on fair child support. Simply put: he was an alcoholic who wanted the divorce so he could drink whenever he wanted; I wanted the divorce because I...was...done. We didn’t hate each other, we just didn't want to be married anymore.

The flipside of that is my husband's divorce (it's important to note that I didn't know my husband during this time and had nothing to do with the disintegration of his marriage). On November 22, 2002, the devil proposed that he pay her $3,500 a month in family support and give her full physical custody of the children. She refused to work outside the home, and planned to home school the children at least through elementary school (though we later learned that she’d planned to home school them through high school!). She also proposed that she’d continue to live in their marital home, and would split the proceeds with my husband if and when she ever chose to sell the house – although she admitted that she had no intention of ever selling it. But there was no way my husband would’ve given her full custody of their children nor could he have afforded to pay her $3,500 a month! Needless to say, he rejected her "offer."

My husband's divorce cost him (and, ultimately, us) in excess of $35,000. (No, that’s not a typo…I really did intend to type “thirty-five thousand dollars.”) And he still doesn’t have a signed Stipulation of Final Judgment. Simply put: he wanted the divorce to escape her frequent, controlling rages; she didn’t want the divorce because she hadn’t reached the magic 10-year mark yet.