Need to Calculate Child Support?

Use this site to calculate Califoria guideline child support:
http://www.childsup.ca.gov/Resources/CalculateChildSupport

This link takes you to the California Department of Child Support Services home page.

Click "Calculate Child Support" in the left menu bar that begins "I Need To..."

You'll need some basic financial information for each parent, such as monthly gross income (see my "What If She Quits Her Job" post if your ex used to work and is now unemployed), new spouse's monthly gross income (if applicable), mortgage interest and property taxes (also if applicable), Federal tax filing status, health insurance premiums, and uninsured health expenses. If you've been going through this process for a while, you may already have a copy of the other parent's Income and Expense Declaration, which should contain all of this information. If you don't know the other parent's property tax rate, you may be able to find it on your county assessor's website (like I did). Or try Googling your ex's address...you may be surprised at what you can find online.

I highly recommend that you take the time to run your numbers on the State's calculator even if you've already had an attorney run your Dissomaster. Here's why...

My husband and I consulted with his former attorney to get her advice concerning the ongoing difficulties we've been having with his insane ex (a.k.a. "the devil"). We were sick to our stomachs at the end of our consultation. By her calculations, even though my husband's percentage of parenting time has increased, and the devil has remarried, her household expenses have been cut in half, and her income and lifestyle exceeds ours, if she took him back to court for increased child support (as she's recently been threatening), he would be ordered to pay an additional $500 a month!!!

Luckily, I remembered seeing something about a "future link" to a child support calculator on our County Court's self-help site, and thought it would be interesting to run our own calculations and compare the results.

Why? Because even though she's a terrific attorney and seems to genuinely have ours and my husband's children's best interests at heart, she's first and foremost a business woman. She may enjoy helping people, but - ultimately - she's in it for the money. She needs to constantly drum up new business (i.e. new lawsuits). She's not going to make money by simply advising us to leave well enough alone.

During our consultation, she first told us about the potential for a significant increase in child support, and then advised us that the only sure way to prevent this was to increase my husband's parenting time. (It should be noted that the devil is a nut job, and the children have been psychologically damaged by her, but we've "played this game" long enough to know that that's not enough to be granted sole physical custody, and maybe not even an increase in parenting time.) She further advised us that we, of course, shouldn't attempt this on our own: that the services of a good attorney would be necessary. (Of course.)

My husband and I are not made of money, and we're talking a $6K+ child custody evaluation plus at least a $10K attorney retainer just to get things started.

(As an aside, a close friend of mine went through this process last year. His child custody evaluator recommended that he be granted sole legal and physical custody of his two children, and that his ex have supervised bi-monthly visits. It made no difference. The judge in his case ordered that custody would stay as it had been: shared legal and 50/50 physical. All that time, energy, stress and expense...and no change.)

Anyway, our results were vastly different from those we'd received at his attorney's office, even though we'd supposedly run the same data. In one scenario, my husband's support would decrease $49 a month; in another, by $21. In a third, it would increase $173 a month; and in the last, by $380...versus our attorney's increases of $500 in the first three scenarios and $136 in the fourth.

We feel MUCH better today knowing that there's a very good chance that should the devil take my husband back to court yet again, that we may once again come away relatively unscathed. Whew!

Check out the site...it's so worth your time. And it's FREE!!

Types of Custody: Shared Legal - Shared Physical - Shared Residency. Wait...What?!

(See 8/25/11 update at the end of this post.)

Do you and your ex share equal or near equal physical custody of your child(ren)? ... Yes?

Do you support your child(ren) in your household at or near the same level that your ex supports them in hers? ... Yes??

Does your ex now have a household income or lifestyle equal or nearly equal to, or even exceeding yours? ... Yes???

And despite all this, is your household deprived of a huge chunk of your taxable earnings each payday because they’re diverted from your paycheck to her household - tax-free to her? ... Yes????

Are you frustrated by having to support your child(ren) in your household and in hers? ... Hell yes?!!!!

Why are you paying so much?!

Because no one’s ever told you about shared residency! That’s not surprising: we’d never heard of it, either. Not even after 7 years of this crap! Nope...not until I stumbled across the term a couple of weeks ago while researching child support! You got it! My husband’s highly-paid attorney never mentioned it once even though he was granted 46% physical custody! It apparently never occurred to her! (By the way: be sure to see my What Does Child Support Cover? post for a breakdown of just what child support is supposed to be used for...it's eye-opening! And, yes, this is another area that no one--not even my husband's attorney--thought to explain! Ugh!!)

So in addition to shared legal and shared physical custody, my husband has had shared residential custody without knowing that such a thing existed, as we, too, have his kids in our care often enough that we have to buy them furniture, bedding, clothes, shoes, school supplies, over-the-counter medicines, toiletries, laundry and cleaning supplies, etc., etc., etc. In fact, we spend an average of at least $5,000 a year for these types of expenses exclusively...AND we've been paying for 50% of their extracurricular activities...$900 just this year!...because no one has ever explained to my husband that he didn't have to! (I've since learned that, in general, the Court only ever orders the "non-custodial parent" to share in the cost of extracurricular activities if he or she is a millionaire, which we are not!!)

And here’s the kicker: the court has no idea we're doing this (not yet, anyway)! It just never occurred to them that my husband would have to share in these expenses when the kids are at our house for days on end! They just stupidly assumed that their mom would be the only one to incur these types of expenses, and that they would be covered with the child support my husband pays each month. They never once gave a second thought to the fact that my husband would have additional expenses…like clothes for the kids to wear at his house, or tooth brushes and toothpaste to brush their teeth at his house, or beds to sleep in at his house, or…well…you get the picture.

Once the Court is made aware of our situation, my husband's child support obligation will be dramatically reduced—and in all likelihood eliminated!

Craziness, huh?!

So what is shared residency? It's the regular sharing of residential custody on an equal or nearly equal basis. To qualify, two components must exist:
• First, the blocks of time must be regular and equal or nearly equal between the parents throughout the year rather than based on extended visitation (e.g. summer visitation, holidays).
• Second, the parties must be sharing direct expenses of the child on an equal or nearly equal basis, which include (but aren't limited to) clothing and education expenses, but don’t include food, transportation, housing or utilities.

Does this sound like you? Yes? Then I suggest you research this further on your own, and then do something about it (e.g., contact an attorney or your family court's self-help center for advice and assistance).

Let me know if you have any specific questions...I may be able to help. And good luck!

8/25/11 Update: We consulted with my husband's former attorney to discuss shared residential custody (among other issues) and were told that California does not recognize shared residential custody; that guideline child support is based solely on each parent's income. That being said, while I trust my husband's former attorney, I'm not convinced that the information she gave us is accurate. First, when I research an issue, I limit my research to the State of California. Second, it has been our firsthand experience that factors beyond income are considered when setting guideline child support (e.g. percentage of parenting time, income-to-debt ratio). Third, between my extensive research and my personal observations and experiences, I've found evidence that completely contradicts her statement. Obvsiously there is more research to be done on this issue, and I will update this post with my findings. In the meantime, be aware that shared residential custody does exist, and be sure to raise this issue with your ex when discussing a fair support amount (if you're able to work things out between yourselves) or with an attorney if you choose to consult with one. Stay tuned...

What if She Wants to Leave the Area with the Kids?

In our case, the devil is the children’s mother...so for simplicity’s sake, I will refer to the custodial parent as “the mother” and the non-custodial parent as “the father.”

Whether the mother wants to move the children out of State or to the next town, it’s best to consider the father’s rights early in the planning process as move-away cases can be very difficult, time consuming, and costly. Before the move is planned, the father should be informed and an effort made to reach a mutually-acceptable parenting plan based on the proposed location of both parents.

Fortunately for fathers, the State of California takes in to consideration the impact of a long-distance move on his relationship with his children. The primary factor of “best interest of the child” is considered along with (1) the existing custody and parenting arrangement, (2) the attachment and support of the father and other relatives, (3) the child's ties to the community, school, church or synagogue, and friends, and (4) the child's desires and wishes. If the move would harm the relationship between a child and the father, and yet the mother remains set on the move, it may be sufficient to justify a change in custody to the father.

The primary consideration for modifying an existing order to allow the move-away is the child’s ability to have continuing and frequent contact with both parents without a detrimental effect to the father. If allowed, the modified order could provide additional time with the father during the summer months and other school recesses, while obligating the mother to pay the transportation expenses incurred in facilitating the visit.

In any case, a mother who moves away with the child without providing notice to the father may not only face a change in custody but criminal charges of kidnapping as well.

Document, Document, Document (or “Sequence of Events”)

To protect myself from the devil's exaggerations, misstatements, accusations and out-and-out lies, as well as to document its abusive behavior and many blatant violations of our court order, we began documenting EVERYTHING, and have since captured the devil's past, present, and continuing transgressions. We call this monster our "Sequence of Events" (or "SOE").

Why keep your own SOE? To establish a pattern of behavior to substantiate your claims or to refute hers. This is an absolute must if you're in a heated custody battle.

You should not only write down the egregious things that she does, but the things that you're doing, too. Your goal is to not only document the crap that you've got to put up with from her, but to capture what you're doing right (taking the kids to soccer practice, accommodating her request for a schedule change, paying your share of work-related childcare, doing homework with the kids, etc.).

And, of course, you should be doing everything "right" right now. Don't give her any ammunition to add to her own sequence of events!

But if you do mess up (call her a name, pick the kids up late, or whatever), document that, too, along with an explanation. Why? Because when she throws that up in your face (and she will), you'll be able to refer to your SOE and say, "Wait a minute, that's not what happened. Here's the way it really went down..." If you don't document the incident, she holds all the cards: she would be able to make a random accusation, and if you don't even remember the incident so you won't be able to defend yourself. Well that won't happen to you because you have an up-to-date SOE!

And if you're good about documenting everything, you can even protect yourself when she makes something up...because if you didn't write it down, then it didn't happen! Right?

Following is a recent email in response to the devil as an example of how we were able to destroy it with FACTS (which we wouldn't have had without our SOE). It was in the throws of a histerical tantrum and demanding reimbursement for expenses that I'd already paid for:

Devil:

If you’re done with the histrionics now, why don’t you take a minute to read through all of this, and you’ll see that everything that I was trying to calmly tell you on the phone tonight was true.

On 9/7, you sent me an email asking for $42.50, which was half the cost of [Child 2’s] little league: “I need a check for [Child 2] to sign him up for Little League. The price is $85 which we can split, if you can please have a check ready for me because the sign ups are September 23 5:30pm to 8:30pm Roundtable Pizza.” (And then you didn’t sign him up on 9/23.)

On 9/10, I paid for a 3-month rental for [Child 1’s] trumpet and bought her sheet music for a total of $73.08, which [Child 1] then called and told you about.

On 9/11, I gave you the following explanation along with a check (#1051) made payable to you for $5.96 in response to your 9/7 email: “[Child 1] was supposed to get an instrument over the weekend, due date is Thursday. [Child 1] said you were planning to take her to a music store. I am not interested in purchasing an instrument or renting a new instrument, I would prefer to split the cost renting a used instrument.”

Little League & Instrument Rental Expenses
Cost 1/2 Cost
[Child 2’s] Little League $85.00 $42.50
[Child 1’s] Trumpet Rental $73.08 $36.54
Each Parent’s Share $79.04

I Paid (for Trumpet) $73.08
Less My Share Owed $79.04
I Owe You $(5.96) (Check Attached)

You’ll Pay (for Little League) $85.00
Less My Reimbursement $(5.96)
Your Share Comes To $79.04

This means that we’ll each spend $79.04 toward the kids’ extracurricular expenses.

And then on 10/21, I left a check (#1032) at daycare made payable to Art Class Vendor for $62.50, the amount of which I paid in full. You didn’t share in any of part of this cost, and the plan was for you to pay the entire $62.50 cost of [Child 2’s] next art session…which, so far, you haven’t done and are now, in fact, trying to get me to pay half of.

On 10/29, you sent me a follow-up email to your 9/7 email, even though, to my knowledge, at least, you still hadn’t registered [Child 2] for Little League: “…[Child 2’s] baseball was $92 for sign ups and not $85.00…”

So, as you can see and as I calmly stated on the phone, I don’t owe you anything for [Child 2’s] Little League or [Child 1’s] trumpet rental, and it’s your turn to pay for [Child 2’s] art classes.

Angel